"You Can't Keep A Good Woman Down" by Alice Walker

Among the books the weallexist recommends to its dear readers is Alice Walker's You Can't Keep A Good Woman Down.

Published in 1981, the book is a collection of splendid stories.

'Pulitzer-winning author Alice Walker often concerns herself with various types of violence toward women. Her stories are often painful to read, but she uncovers insights about race, gender and human resilience along the way.'--(search.barnesandnoble.com)

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"Creative Non-Fiction: A Manual for Filipino Writers" by Cristina Pantoja Hidalgo

The book "Creative Nonfiction: A Manual for Filipino Writers" is rich with texts from other nonfiction works penned over the years. Among the topics discussed by the book were Strategies of Creative Nonfiction and Types of Creative Nonfiction. Hidalgo has a brilliant way of setting readers in a classroom mood that the book is a teacher in itself. This writer's copy was bought at F. Sionil Jose's Solidaridad at Padre Faura, Manila, priced at P250.

Recommending the book "Sleepless in Manila"

If my memory serves me right, I've been a periodic insomiac since I learned how to romance with books and scribble letters to any paper. To have chanced upon the book "Sleepless in Manila", edited by Christina Pantoja Hidalgo, was a relief. A relief in a way that I got to read essays,poems, and even medical explanation from the expert. The pieces in the book sure have humors creatively thought. It was also good to know that some of the Filipino writers in the book are friends, while some,whose others works I read before, were familiar names.

If I'd have the luxury of time, I might do a review of it for weallexist, but for now, this post is simply to recommend the encompassing book for all of you--insomiacs or not.

Pursuit

(after Ramon C. Sunico)
By Exie Abola

This pencil hovers. You surface
from the dusk of dreams.

The eyelids flutter sleep away.
The things press against the pillows
in sleepy regret of the dissipating night.

This slender wooden limb's desire:
to inscribe your waking warmth
into each letter.

It pauses, a familiar fear:
the slivers of graphite
like bottles in a heap.

Then it recalls its pursuit
of the word-worn rose, and resumes.
The page fills:

the sunrise on your brown body.

2003


---
Source: One Hundred Love Poems: Philippine Love Poetry Since 1905, eds. Gemino H. Abad, Alfred Yuson, The University of the Philippines Press,2004, p.86

"Verbs with Verve: Refresher Course in Grammar" Seminar

What's wrong if you're not chosen?

…is what I always ask myself whenever I realise that things did not go the way I wanted it, because it was not meant for me, or simply because I was meant to learn something from it.

You put your heart and soul into doing one thing, you put your best foot forward, you strive and pray for it, however at the end of the day, there will be only one person who will be rewarded with the pot of gold, the lucky winner, the only chosen one.

Imagine Cinderella has a friend named Hopefella who’s always there for Cinderella whenever she needed someone to talk to about the maltreatment of her sisters.A friend who’s always at Cinderella’s side and never ceases to encourage her to not surrender, Hopefella herself has her own personal pain and grief as she is also going through the same difficult situation with her master. But at the end of the fairytale, the Fairy Godmother can only give one pair glass of shoes for one person to find happiness and everlasting love. She only came for Cinderella and no one else.

Have you ever felt this way? Have you ever felt like something kind of belongs to you but you can’t have it?

I can empathise with you. I know how it feels…. because I’m always second choice.I’m never first with anything… and it gets harder everyday.

There are some things I want to share, true stories of my (not so pleasant) experiences of life. Things that get me and pull me down to..somewhere.

I don’t think my stories below are any different from yours..

During my childhood days, I was that kind of person who’s always looking for a special attention from my family, friends and schoolmates. Unfortunately no one except my parents paid special attention to me.

But even though I know that my parents love me, as a child sometimes I felt that they really don’t care about me much. I have three brothers and I feel that they are always catered to and favoured compared with me.

Perhaps it was because I wasn’t that cute, cheerful, adorable child people like to pinch. Perhaps it’s because I was dark skinned, maybe I was naughty, or maybe because I was too shy and insecure.

My childhood friends don’t call me whenever they plan to play “patintero”(tag game).

They would call on me only because they’re missing one player. Most of the time

I’d just be standing on the side of the street watching while they continue playing forever.

Sometimes we’d watch a movie together and then we’d play the characters in the movie we’ve just seen. They wouldn’t allow me to play the hero though and always I’d be the bad guy who gets up and starts beating the main character.

I always do my best work at school but I was never good enough or smart enough to be a favourite pupil.

Whenever our teacher would ask us to form ourselves in groups, I sometimes pity myself because my friends (even my seatmate! who I talk to most of the time) don’t seem to want to group with me. I’d find myself either alone, or in a group that lacked a label. I had very few friends. I’ve spent a lot of time in a secluded corner with the unpopular kids… kids like me that are sometimes picked on and teased, or otherwise ignored.

When 6th grade came around, things changed a bit when I became part of the volleyball varsity in our school. Our team made our way up to the district level competitions and I was chosen to be part of the final team that goes to the final level. Or so I thought because my coach disagreed. I thought I was going to make my big debut at volleyball, but that day became the collapse of my sports career.

I didn’t get any Merit badge or any award during my scouting days because I didn’t belong to a higher troop.

I was aiming for a 1st place award in Metal Crafting competition we had in school. I’ve put so much and time and effort into mastering every detail of the piece that we will make in the event only to be told that I’d have to be disqualified because of an accident cut in my hand during the competition. I almost fell apart, nothing is more frustrating than that.

I’m highly unsure on what exactly was going on and oftentimes I’d ask myself is this what real life is all about?

Am I that clumsy and un-attentive that I always make the same basic mistake every single time?Is it because of my appearance that I’m never a personal favourite among my friends? Perhaps because I cannot afford anything to share to others so I can make more friends.Or maybe because of the slight speech deficiency I had which was a very obvious flaw in my character?

I continued to ask God what this all means.

Why am I always rejected.

Why am I always the one left behind..

the person not chosen ?

I have come away sometimes with wonderful ideas, but I’m more easily ignored

I have some good thoughts and suggestions, but no one seem to be interested.

For most people my best was never good enough

I tried so hard to get noticed, but I’m still the invisible one.

I’ve tried to reach out and care..but there’s no one there

Is there something wrong with me?

I’ve loved someone who didn’t love me and I’ve loved someone who’s loved me at one time but couldn’t sustain her feelings because she thinks there’s a far better person than me. I’ve experienced the latter twice.

One prayed for a sign from heaven that whoever does something first is the one.

One thought I’m childish and not emotionally mature enough to handle a relationship.

Is this really my lot in life, to constantly love people who can’t love me ?

When Pope John Paul II visited the Philippines the second time around, I remember my father and I were watching TV about the event. There was a segment in the TV program where a girl was being interviewed and was introduced as the child whom the Pope carried during his first visit to the Philippines.

My father remembered something when the name of our hometown (Villamor Air Base) where Pope John Paul plane first landed, was mentioned. He said he was there too, and he was one among those parents holding their child up in the air as if in offering toward the Pope. In Catholic tradition, the Pope is expected to carry one child and it will be a beautiful blessing.

My father told me I was the child he was carrying. The Pope stopped in front of my father and stretched out his arms, and as my father lowers me down towards him he realised the Pope shifted his body and chose to carry the child beside me.

Now let me say this again…Why not me?

I’m only human, I can’t help but dream that one day I’ll be loved so much that I’m the one that is chosen. I want to be loved for my flaws and my oddness, unconditionally and unwaveringly.

What’s keeping my hope alive right now is the thought that with God and my prayers, I know those whishes will come true.

God is the one who showed me wonderful ideas, that’s why I listen to him.

He teaches me good thoughts, that’s why I follow him.

He reaches out to me and I’m holding his hands so tight.

He’s doing His best for me, that’s why I’m doing my best to share His love and a lot of my heart to other people no matter who they are.

In the story of Abraham (Genesis 21: 1-32), when God promised that Abraham will become the father of all nations he was confused because his wife Sarah is in old age and can no longer become pregnant. But God told Sarah that she will bear a child and told Abraham to name it Isaac. But before Isaac born Abraham had a child named Ishmael from Sarah’s slave named Hagar. Sarah was worried that Ishmael would try to lay claim to Isaac’s inheritance and told Abraham to drive out the slave and her son out of their land. Abraham didn’t like Sarah’s idea but God told to Abraham to listen to his wife because it is Isaac who is the one who will bear his seed.

In this story you will see that Isaac is the chosen one, but God told Hagar not to be afraid and worried because He will take care of them and will make a great nation out of Ishmael’s descendants.

A similar story is in Genesis 48:17-19, when Jacob gave his blessings to his son Joseph, Ephraim and Manasseh. When Joseph saw that his father has laid his hand upon Ephraim, he was not pleased, and he tried to take hold up his father’s hand to remove if from Ephraim’s head to Manasseh’s head for he was his first born.

But Jacob refused and said: “I know it, my son, I know it. He too will become a people and he too will become great. But, just the same, his younger brother will become greater than he will, and his offspring will become the full equivalent of nations.”

There’s a lot of stories in the bible confirming that the ones that are not chosen are blessed by God as well. Jeremiah 29: 11 “for I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

The ones that are not chosen may not be the top employees in their company, but they are winners in the hearts of their colleagues, friends, and their family.

So what’s wrong if I’m not chosen?

Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad?

I really shouldn’t be.

Because I know within me, that I’m not alone. Although I’m rejected by people, I know that someone out there is willing to choose me, even if we don’t choose Him, even if we push him aside. He wouldn’t leave us alone even though we have to endure many trials in our lives.

He knows how it is to be rejected and not chosen but his understanding is much more than man’s foolish understanding.He is Jesus Christ our lord, our God. Remember he died for us just to save our sins, to make us free, and be connected again to God, our big boss in heaven.

Just continue to hold to your faith and be fervent in your prayers.Do not fret at all that’s happening around and believe that God will make a way for your time to shine.

In the meantime,I do not mind not being chosen…

I do not want to let my head get in the way of my heart. I want to be so humble and childlike that God can use me as He wishes.

I am willing to be weak and without a will of my own, if this all means just submitting myself to the righteousness of God and letting His will be done in my life.

——

I dedicate this piece to the loving memory of my friend Ms Ai (Aileen Betic.)…you will never be forgotten, may the Lord watch over your soul. My heart goes out to the rest of her family and friends. Stay encouraged because she is with the Lord.

Rainbow

Have you seen a rainbow lately?

Just recently after a rain, I have witnessed two beautiful rainbows side by side appear in the sky. I've seen lots of rainbows but never one like this one.
I feel very lucky to have been able to see this. It’s a special thing and was such a wonderful sight to see. At the same time I felt a warm contented feeling inside.
It has left me with a peace and sense of gratefulness I have not experienced in a while.

Where I am I see rainbows all the time.
Maybe it’s because of this weird Auckland weather where rain is kind of on and off and coming from all directions. But I knew in my heart it is God working on me, I needed to be reminded that he is always there for me and I wasn’t alone.

I remember that day I was travelling the road home with friends and there was a light rain shower outside. Our usual route was pretty much all motorway and there wasn’t a lot so we decided leave the main road and turned left at the signposted “Mill Road” and take the back way home.

The backway route is our favourite. It’s a smooth ride and eventhough it’s narrow, it’s got scenic views of the mountains to the left and right. But the great part is this route goes up and down like a real roller coaster ride!

As we reached the top switched back and plunged downhill, there in front of us was the most beautiful sight. A huge beautiful rainbow appeared in front of us among the hills.

I said to the group, I’ve seen the same one before and I know where the ‘end’ of the rainbow exactly will be, and we will see it as we climb up the highest part of the road. So we all got very excited to see the place, our eyes stuck in the sky as we don’t want to miss one moment of this spectacular view.

The little kids in the car started asking questions about rainbows.
They knew about the story of the pot of gold hidden at the end of the rainbow but got excited when one of us told the tale of the seven colourful fairies that live at the end of the rainbow. The other one said if you touch a rainbow you will become pretty and the rainbow will impart lots of colours in your body that can’t be removed forever.

While the kids started laughing at the fairy tales, a flashback scene from my childhood popped into my head…

I saw my childhood friend holding colouring books. He had three but the one that says “Noah’s Ark Coloring Book” on the front caught my attention as it seemed to have a story. I approached him and asked if I could borrow the book for a while to read it. He looked at me and I noticed he thought twice before he handed me the book.

He asked me to be very careful because the book is a gift from his Aunty and it’s expensive. “Okay”, I said sheepishly as I sat beside him, but obviously he didn’t like me to stay close too him so I moved a little bit far.

So I started flipping through the pages of the coloring book. Some of the words I didn’t understand, but the drawings and the images fascinated me. On the left page is a colored scene from the story and beside it is a paragraph explaining the scene. On the right page is the same scene but in simple line drawing, the page to put colour into however one wants.

There was a scene in the clouds where two men are talking. There was scene where a man (Noah) was building an ark and on the side are people jeering and laughing at the him as if he was doing something crazy. The boat is then finished and the man’s family entered the ark along with two of all living creatures, small and big.

After the door of the ark was shut, heavy rain fell and the waters flooded the earth and every living thing on the face of the earth was wiped out. When the rain stopped, the man let loose a bird who came back with a flower in it’s beak. They all came out of the ark and as the man in the clouds spoke, the sun came out from the clouds and the rainbow appeared in the sky.

I understood as child that God gave instructions to Noah to build an ark, and gathered each every kind of animal, male and female, to put inside the ark along with his family, because God will punish all the mankind and other living creatures.
As I grew up and got to read the story of Noah from the Bible, I learned that the rainbow symbolises the covenant God made with man not to destroy the world in such a way again.

That’s why a rainbow for me means hope. God gave us a unique and beautiful sign that good things are coming and to remind us that He keeps His promises.

Everytime I see a rainbow, I smile because my spirit is renewed and my hopes are reborn.

I hope next time I see our next door neighbour, they’d be nicer to me.

I hope someday I could l rejoin my childhood friends.

I hope I could fix my parent’s house, so that they won’t experience a ‘flash flood’ in the living room anymore everytime a heavy rain comes.

I hope my experiences in life have shaped me into a strong and compassionate person.

As I came back to my senses I realised we have gone past the spot where I thought you can see the ‘end’ (or the start) of the rainbow coming from the top of a hill.

But the rainbow stayed with us until we reached our destination.

I hope whenever I am down and hurting I could see a rainbow,
To remind me that no matter what goes on in my life, there is always hope
and that no matter what happens, God does not want me to give up,
Like the promise of a rainbow I will be happy and I’ll brighten up.
I will have no troubles but instead help others with their troubles.
I will be strong and live my life to the fullest completely surrendered to God’s will …


"I do set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be for a token of a covenant between me and the earth. And it shall come to pass, when I bring a cloud over the earth, that the bow shall be seen in the cloud: And I will remember my covenant, which [is] between me and you and every living creature of all flesh; and the waters shall no more become a flood to destroy all flesh. And the bow shall be in the cloud; and I will look upon it, that I may remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that [is] upon the earth. " (Genesis 9:13-16)

Five Stages of Grief

by Linda Partan

The night I lost you
someone pointed me towards
the Five Stages of Grief
Go that way, they said,
it's easy, like learning to climb
stairs after the amputation.
And so I climbed.
Denial was first.
I sat down at breakfast
carefully setting the table
for two. I passed you the toast---
you sat there. I passed
you the paper---you hid
behind it.
Anger seemed so familiar.
I burned the toast, snatched
the paper and read the headlines myself.
But they mentioned your departure,
and so I moved on to
Bargaining. What could I exchange
for you? The silence
after storms? My typing fingers?
Before I could decide, Depression
came puffing up, a poor relation
its suitcase tied together
with string. In the suitcase were bandages for the eyes
and bottles sleep. I slid
all the way down the stairs
feeling nothing.
And all the time Hope
flashed on and off
in detective neon.
Hope was a signpost pointing
straight in the air.
Hope was my uncle's middle name,
he died of it.
After a year I am still climbing, though my feet slip
on your stone face.
The treeline
has long since disappeared;
green is a color I have forgotten.
But now I see what I am climbing
towards: Acceptance
written in capital letters, a special headline:
Acceptance
its name is in lights.
I struggle on,
waving and shouting.
Below, my whole life spreads its surf,
all the landscapes I've ever known
or dreamed of. Below
a fish jumps: the pulse
in your neck.
Acceptance. I finally
reach it.
But something is wrong.
Grief is a circular staircse.
I have lost you.

Why I Love VCF (esp U-belt)

Alive! Alive! Yan ang laging naiisip ng mga tao pag nakakarinig sila ng word na "Christian." To be honest, I also had that kind of impression back then. Blame it on our neighbor in Sampaloc before who used to hold Bible study sessions in their house and then singing Alive Alive, Alive forevermore afterwards. Or more so, blame it on the wrong and/or exgerrated portrayal of media about Christian fellowships and services (remember Jologs?).

But really, today's Christian fellowship services is no longer about crying and laughing and crying again, all eyes closed, and all hands waving (imagine the picture?). Christian fellowships nowadays are more into practical approach in order to entice more people into listening and talking about God and never to scare them out. Thankfully, more people no longer perceive Christianity as being baduy or boring, but rather, it's one of the coolest things to get involved with.

I am one of those thousands of born-again Christians who are blessed enough to have found God and be part of a church who is not legalistic in its manner of teaching God's laws--Victory Christian Fellowship. And for almost 3 years that I've been part of VCF, there was never really a time that I felt regretful or discontented of my chosen community.

To make u understand why I love VCF so much (especially U-belt), here are the reasons:

1. The teachings are practical. They will not command you to do this and that or tell you not to do this and that. Instead, they believe that your love for God will eventually help you do things according to God's will.

2. Every church service is like a seminar and a concert all rolled into one. Sabi nga ng isang friend q na naisama q sa U-belt one time, "ang saya naman, parang may concert lang." The setting is like in an auditorium with a big stage at the center, all musical equipments present. Even the design of the stage is fabulous! As for the preaching, para ka lang nakikinig ng homily na never kang aantukin at mabobore kse lahat ng messages, may weight tlga at super tatagos sa puso't isipan mo:-)

3. The music ministry is super awesome! As in wala aqng masabi. Para mo na ring napanood na nagperform ang Hillsong United at lahat ng worship singers ng live! Fabulous tlga!

4. The pastors are all good-looking:-) Wala ka tlgang itatapon!

5. Ang cool ng mga pastors! Nakakita ka na ba ng pastor na nag-super luigi sa service? or nag-ala matrix kya? or ng youth pastor na pinapasakay ang mga members sa jeep na nasa unahan at nde nakapila tapos sisigawa siya ng barker kse nga nde pa un ang susunod na jeep, tapos ipipilit pa din niya, tapos dadating ang head pastor at palokong tatanuning siyan: Why are you cheating?" at sasagutin lang niya na, "eh mababasa kse sila eh" in a boyish manner? sa VCF lang un:-) Or ng pastor na nagpapavote ng venue for retreat pero dadayain kunwari ung count? or ng pastor na nang mahulog ang cord ng mic pagbigay sa kanya ng isang church leader eh pinilit pigilin ang tawa at nasabi na lang eh: "Holy Spirit come back" sabay ngiti?

6. The technical team is marvelous! The powerpoint presentations, the slideshows, all the visuals, the audios, everything! Fabulous lahat! Even the background of the lyrics kapag pinapakita sa lcd screens are fabulous din!

7. It's fun being part of the ministry. Lahat ng ministries okay tlga. It's not only a venue to serve God but also, it serves as a way to meet with other Christians and have fellowship with them.

8. The topics are amazing. Tlgang pinagiisipan bawat series. They're making it in a way na nde ma-bobore tlga ang mga members.

9. The events and activities are really fun-filled and wonderful. From the 7-day fasting to Freshmen night, to singles teambuilding and retreat, to Christmas Parties, etc., all of these are fantastic!

10. The centers are all grand-. Para kang nanonood ng concert tlga. Sound-proof. Well-lit, big enough to house a big number of people. There are also different rooms for the Toddlers, kids from 3-5, and kids from 6-12.

Actually, i could write a lot of things about VCF that i love the most, but perhaps, these things are a perfect summary of all. I feel really blessed to be part of Victory Christian Fellowship.

To God be the glory!