Ricky Lee Joins NBDB Book Club's Discussion

Prize-winning screenwriter Ricky Lee will be joining the NBDB Book Club’s discussion of his runaway bestseller Para Kay B on May 30, 2-4 pm, at Ortigas Foundation Library.
Selling more than 10,000 copies since its launch in November last year, Lee’s first novel contains five interrelated stories illustrating and deconstructing the many convolutions of love. Everyone who’s read the book is invited to attend this intimate one-on-one with the author and discuss why 4 out of 5 of us are destined to be devastated by love.
Para Kay B is available in major book stores for P250.
RSVP 926-8238

Green Peace

Be aware of the possible global turmoil and solutions emerging from our country. Clipping from this site:

There is a lot to be done when protecting the planet for future generations and help is always welcome.Greenpeace volunteers help win campaigns.Greenpeace Southeast Asia provides volunteering opportunities for those who are interested in helping us out in the office and, occassionally, in the field.

For particulars, visit the site below.

http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=87812196812&h=XqusH&u=iZ16Q&ref=mf

My Father's Dream

I didn’t feel like waking up this morning, I wanted to fall back to sleep to continue my dream.

I dreamt of people I thought are part of my life. Each of them were in their own place doing their own stuff, and it seems they don’t want to be disturbed.

The first one was stacking papers until it got so high it collapsed on the floor, and then he started all over again.

The second one was painting on canvass and if it turns out not good he makes another one. He made a lot but didn’t finish anything.

The third person had lots of things around him but never touched any of those. He growled and seems like he wanted to keep all his stuff in an orderly manner and off-limits to anyone.

The last person I saw was wearing a soldier’s uniform but I couldn’t see his face. He was carrying no arms only medals and merit badges pinned all over his uniform. As I was coming up to him I heard the tone of my alarm clock. And then there was black hole, my dream ended. I never got to find out who that bemedaled person was.

I was thinking deeply about my dream while walking slowly towards my office this morning. And then suddenly it dawned upon me. Why have I forgotten that my father is a soldier! He’s a retired soldier, he left service almost a decade ago.

Thoughts about my father started flashing in my mind. His life as a soldier wasn’t easy, not for him and not for us. You have to be very dedicated, must have a strong character, must know the rules by heart, must obey and be able to execute commands from higher rank without questions. Most specially you must have a nationalistic heart, ready to make sacrifices to preserve peace and have the courage to fight for those who cannot fight for themselves.

My father’s life as a soldier is an inspiration to us. He took his first step to becoming a solider when he became “core commander” during his high school days. Being named highest ranking leader to a bunch of wide-eyed hopefuls, to me, is a big deal. He said that’s when he started thinking about pursuing a military career (and that’s how he captured my mother’s heart too!).

There was a time he was approached by an underground youth movement and was being recruited, but my father declined. He was thinking about his friends and the more than 200 students who were under him. He didn’t want to risk his life, but more than that he didn’t want to jeopardize the lives of his troop.

After graduation my father wanted to join the US Navy (during that time US has military forces in the Philippines). To join however one must undergo an examination, which my father failed. I think that was his first experience with failure, but that didn’t stop him from hoping that someday he will wear the uniform of a real soldier.

A few years later his dream came true when he finally got the chance to serve as Military Police (section of the military solely responsible for policing the armed forces, and work in military bases) and was assigned in Villamor Air Base.

He juggled between service and love for his country.. and his love for my mother. Every chance he had, he’d travel to see my mother in her boarding house in Manila and (take note!) he’d bring with him a basketful of vegetable and fish all the way from Zambales. They got married secretly and my father helped my mother to finance her studies. Once again they got married when my mother graduated from her teaching course.

My brother and I came into the picture a few years after and were witness when my father became a full-pledged soldier. He chose to stay with the Air Force, where he served as a military police, so we didn’t have to leave our home in Villamor Air Base.

My father has experienced unfair judgments during the “coup d’etat” in the late 80’s. Not given the chance to defend himself, he got demoted two ranks below and was sent to a short term confinement to an unmoving ship called “500” inManila Bay. He was one among those soldiers who didn’t have any choice. He suffered humiliation and difficulties the worst of which is being away from us his family. But it’s also nice that when we visit him I get to sleep in his bunk bed in the ship and we’d have the greatest day in prison.

My parents sent us to a private school for boys no matter how expensive it may be. I remember a time when my father was only receiving 500 pesos in his payslip, after debts and advanced loan payments taken off his salary. He was continually looking for alternatives to get a bit of money. During his break time at work he’d plant pechay , kangkong in the backyard of their office at the base for our own consumption and to sell when harvest is ready.

He’s also well known in our place for selling “mangoes”, sometimes he sells fish too. Sometimes I go with him, he rides the pedicab while I push or vice versa. He does most of the talking while I, being inherently “shy”, handle the list (of those who bargains to pay later!).

But the truth is, those time not one of us children was really sincere in helping him. We pointed fingers at each other about who’s turn it will be to go with him. I must admit I thought it was pretty desperate and we were degrading ourselves working in the streets. Deep inside me I was worried about becoming so dark skinned when I’m under the sun too much. I worried so much about what other people will say about us (private school children).

He was a real hardworking man. As a military father he was very strict. Before, he didn’t like us to be part of any physical activity and never let us go somewhere far like camp. He’s very protective and never lets us out of his sight. But not one of us ever doubted just how much he loved us. Both my parents are so kind, very humble and down-to-earth people, which is why our neighbours like them very much.

Maybe because of these experiences and hardships as a soldier, not any one of my brothers thought of following the footsteps of my father.

No one, except me.

I wanted to become a soldier too. I’m so fascinated with the uniform and the colourful badges. I somehow feel I’m responsible to protect others from harm. And somehow, even if he doesn’t speak about it, I felt that my father’s dream is to see one of his sons becoming a soldier one day. I saw my father’s eye’s sparkled as he handed me the application forPhilippine Military Academy. I told him I’d think about it but didn’t tell him I have hesitations.

I knew I will fail the physical exam because I can never meet the very stringent eyesight requirements. My father knows that too but that didn’t keep him from trying to encourage me. My one chance is to be a “Ground Officer”; you will be trained for six months in Camp Aguinaldo and be assigned to an office, not like most who will be assigned to the field. I had an uncle who is also a soldier and was willing to help me get there. Everything was set to go, except me.

I didn’t apply in the end. I didn’t understand what kept me from pursuing what I thought I wanted. Maybe I wasn’t really the one who will fulfil our father’s dream.

We don’t talk too much about it anymore. Maybe my father has already come to terms that no one will follow in his footsteps. But I’ve never stopped dreaming about becoming a soldier someday. Something inside me wanted live the life of soldier.

I remembered, I got the chance to attend a big event of the church community I belong too. It was a gathering of all the leaders within metro manila. There was a part in the program where anyone can go in front and share whatever the Holy Spirit commands you to. I felt something strange, I feel like there’s something stuck in my chest that I have to let out. My feet led me to the front and I started speaking in front of everybody. Mark 9:35 “If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all“. I told everyone about my father’s dream that one of his sons will follow his footsteps. I thought I would be the one who will fulfil it but couldn’t because of reasons beyond my control.

At that very moment I realized God showed me another way of fulfilling this dream. Although I didn’t become a soldier of my country’s army. I was, right that moment, standing as a soldier of the Army of the Lord !

I’m very proud that my father has served our country. I hope someday he’ll be proud that I too became a soldier. A soldier of God fighting for those who are hurting, reaching out for the lost to His Kingdom. . At all times bearing God’s love.

As I write this, in my thoughts I pictured a scene. Two soldiers… me and my father… standing before our God…. proud that we did our job like good soldiers. We both have weathered the worst of the storm…and no matter how heavy the burdens we carry, we will not be swayed but will continue to walk the line towards righteousness and full obedience to God.

I dedicate this piece to Retired 1st Lt. Maximo S. Abela, PAF , my hardworking and loving father. You were, and still are, a tremendously powerful figure in my life.

I hope in my own way I have fulfilled your dreams.

A BROTHER’S WISH

The other day I received a phone call from the Philippines, and it was my youngest brother on the other line. His voice sounded happy and it seemed like he wanted to tell me something, but hesitated and gave the phone to my mother.

The good news was he just got his working visa, and he will be leaving soon to work in another country!

I felt so blessed upon hearing the news. Back when when I was still in the Philippines, my brother would always tell me about his plans of going abroad. Now his prayer is granted, and I’m happy for him because he’ll be fulfilling one his goals too, which is to help our parents.

I would have been happier if he’s here in the same place with me. He is my brother whom I have a long conversations with, about things like school, our plans, his friends. I always beg for him to tell me about his crush in school. I know we can be together someday, but for now I’ll just pray for his safe trip, good health, and wish he doesn’t forget to pray always.

I remember my childhood days with my brothers.. We didn’t speak to each other much that you’d think we didn’t care about each other. We were not close, or sweet to each other. We usually hide our emotions and not showy of our true feelings. Even to our parents we were like that. We each had our own friends we were more comfortable being with.

But I remember there was a time when I was desperate for my elder brother’s attention and wanted to be with him wherever he goes. But I was always left behind, maybe because I was too young and he thought I’ll just be a nuisance to them.

But then again I was happy and proud whenever I hear people say good things about him.
All my cousins and relatives like him very much, he’s very good at drawing, he is a top boy scout during elementary days, all our playmates look up to him because he’s good in basketball (despite that he’s not quite tall). All in all he’s very smart, sweet, and damn cute too.

I know as a teenager growing up, he had some issues, some of those kept hanging on up to the time he became a father. There are times when we just can’t understand what he’s going through. But my parents were always there behind him, supporting him, guiding him to the right path, even though I think he’s not aware of that.

But then I know deep inside my brother’s hearts, there’s a man full of love and caring for others. I always pray that someday he could overcome his trials, accept the things of the past as a meaningful experience, and start anew with God in his life. Although he doesn’t seem to know that we are here for him, I’m still hoping that he will see the right path and have the heart to know God’s plan for him.

I wish I could feel his small hands again, holding me while were walking in a dark road going to our grandma’s house, saving me from our “sipa” game so I won’t become “ta’ya”, playing together in the sand under my Grandma’s “nipa” house. I wish we could play basketball once more under the “santol” tree unmindful of the small drops of rain gently falling from the sky.

I have 3 brothers, by the way, and a former soldier as a father that brought us up in a military way. That’s probably the main reason why within the family we’re not very showy of our feelings. It seems strange because outside the house, we all love sharing our feelings and were never hesitant to show our care and support to our friends.

My brother who came after me is one who loved to invite friends over to our house.

That’s how some of his friends have became my friends too, But the problem is when I got into trouble with one of his friends, he still insisted for his friend to stay over, no matter how uncomfortable it is for me to see him around. But when it’s him having problems with one of my friends, I have to choose my brother over my friend, send my friend home and not allow him to come over for a while, even if my brother’s the one at fault.
That’s the dilemma of being much older you know, you’re always expected to give-in to their demands and be much more understanding.

But then again I’ve learned a lot from my younger brother. He taught me to become more patient. I worked in my alma matter to help him finish school, and at the same time guide him through his university days. Although I hurt a lot when he’s being rude and a bit disrespectful… I assured myself it’s just a phase and he will change when he finishes his studies and becomes more mature.

For me it was like crossing over to the other side of a swiftly running river with water up to your shoulder while carrying a heavy load.

But what I like about my younger brother is he patiently perseveres in all his attempts and actions. He is much more caring to other people, he’s somehow a leader to his group, a very funny person, and loves helping my parents whenever us older brothers are not around.

I wish and pray for him to have a successful career, to be strong as he faces difficult times ahead, to be more responsible and self-disciplined, to be more affectionate and loving but not too sensitive.

I wonder what my brothers would wish for me?

Growing up with them, I know at times I’ve given them a hard time. Every time my father calls on someone to do the dishes, I always point my fingers to one of my two younger brothers. I acted like I’m the eldest because most of the time our eldest brother was not around. He studied far from our place and had to live in a boarding house. We only get to see him during sem breaks and holidays.

I sneak in my brother’s territory to use their clothes and shoes sometimes.

I thought that because I bring food to the table I should be exempt from any dirty house work.

Sometimes I think I’m doing all those as my scapegoat for my own personal grievances and for the pain and hurt I’m feeling inside. At times I think I’m a failure in my own personal life and that I’ve lost many things along the way because I always have to make sacrifices just to see them happy, sacrifices that other people never would have to consider making.

I’m usually looking for answers why I have to carry these loads, why I always find my self helping them and thinking about their welfare first instead of my own.

At the back of my mind, I know that in the end no one will remember and I will be left alone.

In the bible you can find stories about brothers, stories about the sibling rivalry, jealousy, favouritism, disobedient, and deceitfulness. There’s thestory of Cain and Abel, Jacob and Esau, Joseph the Dreamer, and The Prodigal Son. These stories may give you some answers you’re looking for whenever you feel pain and don’t know how to handle things with your brothers and sisters. Stories that will make you feel strong and keep you from thinking bad things.

The pain and hurt are no longer there whenever I’m alone thinking about them… but I guess acceptance is an ongoing process.

I just wanted to grow with my brothers, what I have now they must have too, my blessings are their blessings too.

I will, with my magic wand, bring them here so we can all be together. But then life can’t be that easy. God doesn’t want it that way because we will not be happy and contented if everything’s done easily. He wants us to suffer sometimes and experience some pain and trials, so that we can come back stronger and better, happy that we’ve pulled it off and hold it together.

Let us recognize brothers in the bible that support each other in everything and were one in their belief in serving God. Simon (who is called Peter) and his brother Andrew, James son of Zebedee and his brother John, all members of the 12 apostles of Jesus Christ, the 3 brothers Shadrak, Meshak, and Abednego who opposed King Nebuchadnezzar, and a lot more not so popular that you can think of.

Together these brothers create powerful things. Even when faced with a big hurdle, it’s easy for them to overcome. Because there’s more than one of them pulling it all together!

It’s been more than a year now that I’ve been away. I’m missing my family so much already. Everyday I wish to myself that one day we would have a family reunion when we would swap stories about what happened in our pasts, our problems, experiences, our failures, our own family, about anything going on with our lives.

I imagine ourselves smiling and laughing at all these things we’ve survived and accepting of the things that brought us to where we are… more mature, more responsible, more loving family.

I imagine us four brothers serving God hand-in-hand in every way we possibly can.


PS:
I wrote this blog for all of my brothers, especially to my youngest brother who is now starting a new phase in his life in another country… God bless BRO! I am proud of you. Keep up the good work and know that your efforts will be rewarded in the fullness of God’s time.